Self Discovery?
In my last post I wrote about Asperger’s Syndrome, and the possibility that I can finally identify why I am so abnormal. But it’s more than that, it is about being able to finally find a group of people similar to me. Instead of taking what everyone has told me with several grains of salt and trying to understand how it could possibly be applicable. Now I can take what others who are similar to me, people who think like me, and they have worked out some of the problems that I’ve seen.
I don’t really know how to feel about this. I’ve felt so alone throught most of my life, unable to connect with people. Unable to understand and read people’s body language. I felt almost like I was on the wrong planet, an alien in amongst the rest of the people around me. How I focused on only those things that where important to me, and could never force myself to behave in the way everyone thought I should behave. It’s not an excuse, but more of an understanding of myself that I can use to build upon. I’ve always felt that if I can’t know with certainty what ’symbol’ to use to describe myself, to form the basis of my self image, that I wouldn’t be able to form a stable me.
I’m going to take the time a bit later to go further into depth about how I’ve learned to adapt and attempt to be able to socialize.
